Thought for this week

As I have no one cause or activity that I am passionate about I find it extremely difficult to blog weekly. This is not to say I am not passionate about anything, this just means that the causes/activities I do have are many and all equally important to me. Since I must write something, this week I’ll write about working as an artist. I have been working with clay since 1988, making both functional (eg: plates, cups, vases, etc.) and non-functional (eg: sculptures, raku, etc.) items. I find it is relaxing and takes my mind off the chronic pain. With the pain however, it is hard to get motivated to do anything especially doing something that can be very physical. But once I get going I feel like the clay absorbs whatever is causing the pain and thus brings some relief to my life.

Part of being a multimedia artist and working with clay is coming up with ideas and ways to execute the work. As a designer, my day job is to be creative on demand. By the end of the day it’s difficult to get motivated and come up with ideas for what to make in clay or draw in other media. On a slow day at work though I can come up with ideas of things to make and sketch them on a piece of paper or in a book that I sometimes carry with me. This helps on those days or weeks that the ideas don’t come and the motivation is low.

So what to do to get my creativity back? The only solution I can come up with is to quit my day job and focus on my personal art full time. No pressure, no deadlines and no being creative on demand for things I am not passionate about or care about. The one drawback to this plan is that I will have to reduce my life style to watching the pennies or I should say nickels since pennies have been discontinued. But I think it may be a good thing as there would be no more stress and no deadlines except those that I put on myself. Working with clay full time is something that I have wanted to do for a very long time. I now have most everything I need, equipment wise, to set up my studio. The last two years, spring, summer and fall, I have spent building a wood fired kiln and this summer will be the first firing. I am so excited! It should have only taken me a few months to build, but with the pain level the days were limited where I could do anything but I did it. Of course it was with the help of a few friends and a few family members who knew my situation, how much I wanted my own wood fired kiln and stepped in to help. Now I just have to pay it off as it was not cheap. Now I’m set except for the number of pieces I have to make to fill the kiln and the many hours it will take to fire the kiln around the clock using wood only.  I can hardly wait!

Life goes on . . .

While checking in with myself I noticed that there were others that are worse off. I received a call from a very good friend who had a heart attack while having dental work done. It made me think that my chronic pain, although not managed, is not as bad as having lupus and the side effects that having it does to ones body. This is what my friend has and even with lupus she continues to live life to the fullest that she can. She does not give up and this has been an inspiration to me and one that I forgot when dealing with the worst bout of pain I've had in a long time. We only have one life to live so make the most out of it no matter what. My goal, when I started this journey was to make it to the end even if I have no chance of making the numbers, at least I would have tried. Life is to short and precious to just sit back and give up.  So I remembered a saying that I use to live by . . . "no matter how bad things seem . . . there is always someone who is worse off than you are."

Fires

A fire ban has been issued throughout the province. This to me is good news as I am far behind in making pots for my new wood fired kiln, not to mention far behind in everything else. My chronic pain has peaked for now but the frustration level is still high.   

It’s been a year since the devastating fire that destroyed so many homes and businesses in Slave Lake. I can’t help but wonder if things will ever be the same for residents.  There are three out of control fires burning now and all caused by man not nature and all that could have been prevented. My heart goes out to the people of Slave Lake and to the communities that are under treat now.  Fire by nature is a way to renew the land. Fire by man is unnecessary destruction and can be prevented if only people would think. We just have to be more careful.

Hats off to the fire crews who battle these fires and I hope there is a real shortage of fires to fight this year. But with the stupidity of a few and the dry conditions we have, I foresee more fires this year and perhaps more communities threatened by wildfires. Let us hope and pray for a good steady rain that will soak the land and restore water levels to above normal.

Only after the last tree has been cut down

Only after the last river has been poisoned
Only after the last fish has been caught
Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten.
--Cree prophecy

Good luck to all!

My numbers are low and frustration is very high, as is the pain. When I started this journey I had certain expectations of myself. But that was with the hope that the chronic pain would be resolved somewhat at the pain clinic and at the very least the pain brought down to a tolerable level. Well, the pain is worse and the clinic was about as useful as as a pillow in a gun fight. My concentration and memory are gone as am I.

Good luck to all in your journey