Forms

I am still so far behind in my forms that I can not seem to see the light any more or feel the calm they use to bring me. I've always enjoyed forms because of the calm state of mind they brought to me when doing them. When I knew a form and did it well I got a feeling of peace. The peace is gone now because I'm struggling with all the forms I use to know, trying to remember the next move, the flow of the movements and connection with the energy. I think that all I need is a 2-4 good days with each form with someone who I can work with to get them back. But retaining them is the part that has me lost. 

Apology

I have to apologize for letting everyone down by not keeping up with my journaling, especially to the I Ho Chuan team and Sifu Brinker. I could run on with tons of reasons why I dropped the ball, such as I forgot or I didn’t have the time. But the real reason, is fear! Fear of saying the wrong thing that someone may take the wrong way or getting facts wrong, the list of fears is a long one.

I have stated before that I am a very private person and therefore my biggest fear is revealing things about myself that I don’t want anyone to know. I also find it difficult to put pen to paper and write down my thoughts. So with that said, I again apologize for missing weeks. I will try and keep up with my commitment to a weekly entry.